Post by Smash/TheEntity on Nov 10, 2022 3:37:31 GMT
Cory Jones Jr is sitting behind a desk with three screens behind him all of which have The Entity logo on them.
CJJ: Welcome, my name is Cory Jones Jr, I don’t give a fuck if you watch this program or not, it’s simply a contractual obligation. Without any further bullshitting here we go.
Smash has decided that he will open the show which means he will have to actually appear in public. I can only assume that he will finally let the world and of course the people calling the dang match what in the hell a devils funhouse is..
Match #1
CJJ: Speaking of the match, nobody has the wildest idea of what it is. I'm not exactly sure how to approach this or if I even care enough to.
CJJ reaches his left hand up to his earpiece as if something is being spoken to him at that very moment. CJJ nods his head and takes a moment before continuing.
CJJ: I’ve been informed that I, Cory Jones Jr will be making the entire world aware of what the match is. Let me direct you to the image on the screen to my right here.
CJJ: This here is what Smash has dubbed the devils funhouse. A three tier structure will surround the ring that is thirty feet high. Barbed wire mesh will encompass the entirety of the structure essentially caging the men in the ring. ONE side of the ring will remain with no mesh so the stars can enter and exit as they please. A ladder will go up each open side of the structure so they can traverse the levels. The first tier will be a basic wrestling ring surrounded by the barbed wire mesh. Tier two there are no ropes and very minimal padding covers the wooden boards. The mesh has thumb tacks sticking out of it on this tier. Tier three, there is NO padding, no ropes and the mesh is electrified, a fall to your demise is very easy from this tier.
How to win the match? Anything goes and you must pin or submit your opponent on every tier starting at tier one. How you do it is up to you but you’ve now got the task, let’s see what ya got!
I’m going with Vinny Blades in this one. Look at the fucking dude, he’s a human pin cushion and looks like he would eat your face for lunch just fucking because. I predict that he’s going to brutalize Teivel who claims himself to be the devil and Ace Sky, a rocketing star that may have signed this dotted line a little prematurely. Good luck idiots!
Match #2
CJJ: First off let’s see something creative with the table, everyone finishes these matches in the most basic form but who can elevate and really make a dominant performance here.. oh wait, I’m supposed to answer that. I told you, I couldn’t care less to be here.
I’ll have to go with Jack Lexington here. I’ve heard a lot about Christian Knight and the star he intends to be but I’m not a believer in his hype whatsoever. I think Lexington wins rather convincingly and potentially wipes the pretty boy from the promotion entirely… well, I can only hope at least.
Match # 3
CJJ: This one is actually pretty interesting in my professional opinion. The House of Wolves have plenty of chemistry and experience as a tag team. On the other side of the ring you have a tag team that isn’t too well known across the mainstream industry. They’re more or less very underground both with notoriety and their styles. I’ve recently caught some tape of these two and I think this matchup is perfectly stylistically. With all of that being said I’m going to go ahead and take Kassandra and Danae. I think their chemistry and the amount of matches they have worked together under the bright lights will end up being too much in the end for the brotherly tag team of Kaos and Kruel. The House of Wolves are poised to take on the current Tag champs and potentially defeat them if they can make my words come true in this match.
Match # 4
CJJ: Alright let’s take a deep dive into this one as no matter who wins has a tall task in defeating the World Champion whether that be Anthony Savage or Angus Reed. Not much is known of Sakura Matsuda and I haven’t seen too much tape on her but what I can say is she seems to have a burning desire to succeed in this business and become a champion.. for her sake let’s fucking hope so. Alexander Archer, something about this guy just screams smug little prick but the confidence he exudes also makes it hard to believe he won’t come out on top one way or the other. Nathaniel Dixon is a guy that has his priorities fucking straight. Very talented in the ring and smarter than the average joe. I’m looking forward to seeing what he brings in this match.
To be honest I don’t really care who wins this one, it has the potential to be match of the night and I am ready to see a killer performance on the behalf of these three. Who wouldn’t though with the stakes so high? Hopefully they all realize the opportunity that lies right before their very eyes and take it seriously as the champion that awaits will most certainly be no slouch.
Co-Main Event
CJJ: Chris Page is a man that has built an entire monopoly and controls the wrestling world with a flick of his finger. He is a multiple time World Champion across several promotions around the globe. He also has signed several of the largest stars in the world and mentors them. In this contest he brings with him one of those stars in Joe Montuori. J Mont is a multiple time champion himself and isn’t here to fuck around. On the opposing side of the ring you have the Ramseys bringing their talents to this match looking to dethrone CCPE and prove that they truly are what they say they are and that is the best tag team in the entire world. Todrick and Page are no stranger to each other as they have fought it out several times, most recently Chris Page holds a victory over Todrick… will Todrick and Austin exact revenge or will Page lead his team to the victory? Personally I think CCPE will be too much to handle between the viciousness of J Mont and the ring savvy of Chris Page but who knows anything can happen in this business and it wouldn’t be horrible for either of these teams to hold the Championships.
Main Event
CJJ: Ah we’ve arrived at the match everyone has come to see. Whether it be the fact that it’s for the World Title, It’s a lumberjack match or to see what fucked up shit Smash has planned with all of the lumberjacks being dressed as himself. This is the pinnacle of this event and I believe it will pay off for those in attendance and those that buy the pay per view. Anthony Savage is one of the hottest signings made by Smash. He is a highly regarded star that has multiple Championships under his belt. He squares off against a man known as ‘Iron’ Angus Reed and for good reason. The guy is a fucking animal and looks like he is made from the metal he uses as a moniker. I have no clue who’s going to win this match but if I had to put money down on it and I mean all the damn chips then I’d put it on Savage to take this one home but like I said so many times already, anything can happen in this business and I’m sure both men are hungrier than ever to be the first World Champion here at The Entity.
Damn I went on a little longer than expected, it’s a good thing I’m being paid for this bullshit.
Until next time, I'm Cory Jones Jr and if you don’t like what I had to say then you can go ride a sandpaper rug naked.
CJJ: Welcome, my name is Cory Jones Jr, I don’t give a fuck if you watch this program or not, it’s simply a contractual obligation. Without any further bullshitting here we go.
Smash has decided that he will open the show which means he will have to actually appear in public. I can only assume that he will finally let the world and of course the people calling the dang match what in the hell a devils funhouse is..
Match #1
CJJ: Speaking of the match, nobody has the wildest idea of what it is. I'm not exactly sure how to approach this or if I even care enough to.
CJJ reaches his left hand up to his earpiece as if something is being spoken to him at that very moment. CJJ nods his head and takes a moment before continuing.
CJJ: I’ve been informed that I, Cory Jones Jr will be making the entire world aware of what the match is. Let me direct you to the image on the screen to my right here.
CJJ: This here is what Smash has dubbed the devils funhouse. A three tier structure will surround the ring that is thirty feet high. Barbed wire mesh will encompass the entirety of the structure essentially caging the men in the ring. ONE side of the ring will remain with no mesh so the stars can enter and exit as they please. A ladder will go up each open side of the structure so they can traverse the levels. The first tier will be a basic wrestling ring surrounded by the barbed wire mesh. Tier two there are no ropes and very minimal padding covers the wooden boards. The mesh has thumb tacks sticking out of it on this tier. Tier three, there is NO padding, no ropes and the mesh is electrified, a fall to your demise is very easy from this tier.
How to win the match? Anything goes and you must pin or submit your opponent on every tier starting at tier one. How you do it is up to you but you’ve now got the task, let’s see what ya got!
I’m going with Vinny Blades in this one. Look at the fucking dude, he’s a human pin cushion and looks like he would eat your face for lunch just fucking because. I predict that he’s going to brutalize Teivel who claims himself to be the devil and Ace Sky, a rocketing star that may have signed this dotted line a little prematurely. Good luck idiots!
Match #2
CJJ: First off let’s see something creative with the table, everyone finishes these matches in the most basic form but who can elevate and really make a dominant performance here.. oh wait, I’m supposed to answer that. I told you, I couldn’t care less to be here.
I’ll have to go with Jack Lexington here. I’ve heard a lot about Christian Knight and the star he intends to be but I’m not a believer in his hype whatsoever. I think Lexington wins rather convincingly and potentially wipes the pretty boy from the promotion entirely… well, I can only hope at least.
Match # 3
CJJ: This one is actually pretty interesting in my professional opinion. The House of Wolves have plenty of chemistry and experience as a tag team. On the other side of the ring you have a tag team that isn’t too well known across the mainstream industry. They’re more or less very underground both with notoriety and their styles. I’ve recently caught some tape of these two and I think this matchup is perfectly stylistically. With all of that being said I’m going to go ahead and take Kassandra and Danae. I think their chemistry and the amount of matches they have worked together under the bright lights will end up being too much in the end for the brotherly tag team of Kaos and Kruel. The House of Wolves are poised to take on the current Tag champs and potentially defeat them if they can make my words come true in this match.
Match # 4
CJJ: Alright let’s take a deep dive into this one as no matter who wins has a tall task in defeating the World Champion whether that be Anthony Savage or Angus Reed. Not much is known of Sakura Matsuda and I haven’t seen too much tape on her but what I can say is she seems to have a burning desire to succeed in this business and become a champion.. for her sake let’s fucking hope so. Alexander Archer, something about this guy just screams smug little prick but the confidence he exudes also makes it hard to believe he won’t come out on top one way or the other. Nathaniel Dixon is a guy that has his priorities fucking straight. Very talented in the ring and smarter than the average joe. I’m looking forward to seeing what he brings in this match.
To be honest I don’t really care who wins this one, it has the potential to be match of the night and I am ready to see a killer performance on the behalf of these three. Who wouldn’t though with the stakes so high? Hopefully they all realize the opportunity that lies right before their very eyes and take it seriously as the champion that awaits will most certainly be no slouch.
Co-Main Event
CJJ: Chris Page is a man that has built an entire monopoly and controls the wrestling world with a flick of his finger. He is a multiple time World Champion across several promotions around the globe. He also has signed several of the largest stars in the world and mentors them. In this contest he brings with him one of those stars in Joe Montuori. J Mont is a multiple time champion himself and isn’t here to fuck around. On the opposing side of the ring you have the Ramseys bringing their talents to this match looking to dethrone CCPE and prove that they truly are what they say they are and that is the best tag team in the entire world. Todrick and Page are no stranger to each other as they have fought it out several times, most recently Chris Page holds a victory over Todrick… will Todrick and Austin exact revenge or will Page lead his team to the victory? Personally I think CCPE will be too much to handle between the viciousness of J Mont and the ring savvy of Chris Page but who knows anything can happen in this business and it wouldn’t be horrible for either of these teams to hold the Championships.
Main Event
CJJ: Ah we’ve arrived at the match everyone has come to see. Whether it be the fact that it’s for the World Title, It’s a lumberjack match or to see what fucked up shit Smash has planned with all of the lumberjacks being dressed as himself. This is the pinnacle of this event and I believe it will pay off for those in attendance and those that buy the pay per view. Anthony Savage is one of the hottest signings made by Smash. He is a highly regarded star that has multiple Championships under his belt. He squares off against a man known as ‘Iron’ Angus Reed and for good reason. The guy is a fucking animal and looks like he is made from the metal he uses as a moniker. I have no clue who’s going to win this match but if I had to put money down on it and I mean all the damn chips then I’d put it on Savage to take this one home but like I said so many times already, anything can happen in this business and I’m sure both men are hungrier than ever to be the first World Champion here at The Entity.
Damn I went on a little longer than expected, it’s a good thing I’m being paid for this bullshit.
Until next time, I'm Cory Jones Jr and if you don’t like what I had to say then you can go ride a sandpaper rug naked.